do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Small penises have feelings too.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
