I cannot find my penis.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
