So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
