omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
