Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
