I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
