She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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