A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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