I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
