Jerry, you need to find god
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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