Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
