Taylor Swift is so right about you.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
