How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
