take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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