dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
