My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
the raccoons are back...
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