I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
