we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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