My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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