I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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