ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
