yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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