so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
