That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
