He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
