oh god the rape fog is back!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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