she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
