We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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