Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
