a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
