how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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