I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
