I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I didn't shave. On purpose
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
