Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
