So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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