What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
