The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Let's get the cat blown out
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
