Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
