Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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