I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
