Kiss
Puke
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
