I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
