is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Randomize
