haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So vagazzling was a success
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
