Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
