She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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