i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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