Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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