So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
