Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
