i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
