Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
